FLYY & SINGLE & READY TO MINGLE

OK I'm a beautiful, educated, no kids, and I have a good head on my shoulders. However It's hard for me to meet the right man. Guy's are often intimidated by me and may feel I'm not down to earth. However once they get a chance to know me they realize that I'm really a cool chick. People try to make me seem so high maintenance, and I try to LAME OUT just so that Guys won't think that. So this is a 2 part question. The first one is what can I do to make myself more approachable?? The second question is I have never had a date for New Years, Since I've been grown I have spent NYE with my Girls.. But this year the Girl's wants to have dates... So I have a lil over a month to find a date... I'm not dating any one currently and the guys who I have heard like me of course are afraid to step to me.. So what can I do to speed the process up so that I can have a date and I won't be left out??? P.S I'm really a Shy Person so nothing extreme......


FLYY & SINGLE & READY TO MINGLE



Ok Miss Flyy and Shyy person I see where your problem lies. You need to start getting a chance to know some men honey. Its not to extreme to go out and have some fun so how about if when you go out take heed to your surroundings. (Now I'm not saying that the club is the best way to pick up men...)but how about this. Say you see a guy at the bar and he is looking gooood girl! I mean he looks like the kinda guy to take home to MOMA! So you checking out his swag and you notice that he orders a Corona every time he goes to the bar. So you know what you do? While you are checking him out, notice how empty his drink gets. Then you take him one. Maybe you can send it to him or you can meet him at the bar. (It works for us sometimes:) That not only makes you approachable but it also leaves room for conversation. Exchange numbers and call him. Then ask the man what his plans are for New Years. And get him girl!!!

Bye Bye Now

R.A.W

Gettin tired of the jack in the box

Yea R.A.W

My son's dad is a trip. This dude pops up over my house whenever he wants to. I am getting so tired of this shit. We are cool and he takes care of his son but what the hell does that mean? He will pop up when he gets ready and make it seem like I am the reason why he can't take his son with him. Maybe we were just getting out of the bed. Maybe we were having a nice day in our Jammie's and were watching movies. Or maybe my son was not home when he decided to pop up. I can't take this shit anymore. He is getting on my nerves. I am so close to cussing him out its terrible. If I cuss him I know the he will stop coming all together for a while. Which does not bother me at all. However, I know how it will affect my son. I really don't know how to get out of this situation.

Tired of the jack in the box



Well Tired of the jack in the box



You have to stand up for yourself. You can not let this man keep violating your privacy. That's exactly what he is doing when he comes to your home unannounced and uninvited-. The best way to go about this is to sit him down and talk to him. Let him know how you feel. If that doesn't work then fuck him!! Obviously he doesn't care about your feelings anyway. You can not live your life worried about how that will affect your son. If that stops from seeing his son then he has issues and he is a sad person. Talk to your son and let hm know why he can't see his dad today. Don't talk down on his dad even though we will love to say "You can't go with your dad because he is a piece of shit!!"...That may not be the best idea. However, tell your son that he could not go with his dad today because dad didn't call you so that you would have him dressed and he could not wait or that dad came when he was out. Whatever you tell him make it pleasant. He will grow older and see what dad really is about. Hopefully by that time dad has grew up.

Bye Bye Now
R.A.W

WHY???

Yo R.a.w
I just have 1 question...why? Why is that as soon as you get over a guy his ass come running back? Why is that? I was with this guy and we broke up. Of course I was the one left devastated. I could not eat sleep or shit. I couldn't do anything but cry. I tried my best to get over him. Everyday I did something different. I went out to clubs on days that I normally would not. I went out with guys I would have never dated. Did things out of the ordinary just to get over him. Now he is back. He has confessed his love for me and apologized. He says that he will never do it again. I believe him but I am so much over him its ridiculous. I don't want him anymore. He does not understand that at all. It seems like just because he has apologized he feels that we can go back to where we left off. I don't think so!! I don't feel him at all. I have told him but it doesn't seem to matter. He wants to do what he wants. Come over when he wants and I am sick of it. So again I ask why?????


WHYY

If a person comes to your house and knocks on the door you have 2 choices. 1. You can let them in or 2. You can keep them out. If every time he comes over and gets in he will do it again. And again. Until you put a stop to it. You may have to stop seeing him for a while. Tell him how you feel about him. Let him know that you are over him and he should back up. I'm sure that he will. He may not know that he has no chance for any more romance with you. He may not know what he is doing to you. No one can do what they want unless you let them. If he doesn't back up...GET a RESTRAINING ORDER!!

Bye Bye Now~

Once you pop you can't stop

Man R.A.W

What do you if you are with someone and care about someone else? Okay so I'm with this girl and we have been dating for some time now and I ended up meeting someone else. So now I like the new chick right. But I don't mess with her because I have to much respect for my girl plus I know that once I start I cant stop ya know.



Hey Can't Stop

Looks to me like you answered ya own damn question. For real dude. What do you mean what do you do? NOT A DAMN THING!!! Unless you are 1. Ready to loose ya girl and move on with the new chick and 2. If you are not ready to move along you will open the door up for a lot of trust issues in your current relationship. Why do you want to fuck that up? Is the kitty cat that serious? You really need to decide what you want and in the meantime re-calculate the respect you have for your girl because if you respect her like you say...the thought would not have crossed your mind.

Bye Bye Now~

Bi-Curiously Confused

R.A.W, R.A.W, R.A.W

I just don't know what to do. I recently caught my younger son having sex. I knew that he would be curious real soon and was talking to my husband the other day about having THE TALK with him. However, I had no idea that it would be like this. I am devastated. I caught my son having sex with another boy from our neighborhood! I just don't know what to do. I want to say that' s it' s okay but not my baby. What do you do in a situation like this?

Bi-Curiously Confused



Wow Bi-Curiously Confused

This day in age is really taking a toll on our children. They are way more advanced than we were when we were growing up and are experiencing a lot more nowadays. Tell you what you do. You love your son no matter what. You better embrace him and help him through this. I bet it's harder for him than it could ever be for you right now. It may just be his curiosity that is making him try different things in life. Or this is something that he may continue to do. Regardless you make sure that you don't make it harder for him. Notice I said harder. He will face enough prejudice in this world and he sure don't need it at home. Love him...hold him...try to understand.

Bye Bye Now~

Can you pay my bill bills bills?

R.A.W


Okay I am at a lost of words. I have been dating this guy the last 3yrs and I am tired of carrying all of the weight in this relationship. No he is not a thug or a bum and he keeps a good job. It's just that I pay majority of the bills in the house. I work part time and still try to maintain a lil money just to have and he just "give's what he can". While I see him spending money other places. I know that he means well but I don't feel like you can live life forever just giving what you can. Bills have to get paid and other things need to be maintained and I carry most of the weight. My heart tells me to stay with him because of what a good man he is and my life keeps reminding me that its takes more than that to keep on living. I'm getting fed up the more I try to explain why I feel this way. Now I'm ready to leave.


Wow Can you pay my bills bills bills


I have been in that situation b4. Its hard to deal with I know but you have to realize why you and that man have been together for the last 3yrs and see where you really want to be for the next 3yrs. You have an option to keep staying with him and receive what he gives you and never feel that its enough. Or you have an option to leave him alone and let him deal with the way you are dealing with the world. Let him see how it feels to pay all the bills. If he was in his own place he could not just give his landlord "what he cans". Well maybe he can but how long will that wear out??

Bye Bye Now~

Getting Fed up

I am with this guy that totally has no potential outside of the streets. We have been together for 6yrs and I love him with all my heart. The thing is...I am starting to feel stuck. I have my Master's and I'm headed toward tremendous success is my career and he is headed for jail. I love my man don't get me wrong but we don't see eye to eye any more. We are going different directions in our life and I want more for us. I want him to get a job or go back to school. And he wants rims and t.v.'s????? What do I do in this situation???? I want to be with him but need him to see that it is more to life than what he is after.

Tell me something please.


What's up Getting Fed up

It seems to me that you are just growing up and there is nothing wrong with that at all. You have to let your man know where you stand in the relationship. Let him know exactly what you want. Don't expect his ass to read your mind. Men are just not good at that. Tell him where you see yourself in the next five yrs and where you see yourself with him in the next five yrs because it may be without him!!

Bye Bye Now!!

Men are stupid!!!

Ok here is my drama, Some Men are stupid.. and for some reason i always end up with the stupid ones. I was talking to this guy and i later found out he had a fling with a new friend of mines. Now usually this would be the end of my question, but somewhere down the line i realized DAMN I LIKE DUDE.... 9 months later of drama and possible lies we are no longer talking and yet i still talk to the girl. She played her part in the Drama because the whole time me and him talked she claimed him to be her boyfriend ( But she never mentioned his name, pointed him out or anything, she just would say her "Boyfriend") And she would tell my close friend there business, she even said that she was pregnant... But that ended up being a lie... My question is do you think i should discontinue my fake friendship with both of them? or delete him out of the situation and continue kicking it with Ol' Girl?? help me out and keep it RAW!!!
--
peace and love,

Hey Men are stupid!!


First of all neither one of them can be trusted! You never stated as to why you and the guy stopped talking but I noticed that you did like the dude. Second of all if the chick was really your friend then you would have never started to date the guy in the first place. So basically fuck both of them. Fuck him because if he started to talk to you and didn't know the depth of you and the girls friendship...the what would it matter to him to do it again? Maybe the next time with a closer friend. And fuck that bitch too because she is full of lies! She not only betrayed you but she tried to use your friends to deliver information to you that as a "friend" she could not tell you herself. Which in all were lies. That not only judges her character, but it also questions the fact if they were ever dating in the first place!! Maybe the bitch lied about that too!! If the guy is worth it then maybe you should try to see of they ever dated for real or not. And keep me posted!!!

Bye Bye now!!

N The Raw


I just noticed ya post in or out o the closet. That gave me motivtion to ask for advice that is well over needed. I have been dating this guy for the last 4 yrs and I have wondered if he was gay. we have gotten very kinky during sex and when I go near his ass he does not seem to mind. It made me wonder but it turned me on at the same time. I never judged his character but I have always wondered. I am A white woman but I have black friends and white friends. The significane to why I am even mentioning that is because their opinions are totally different. My black friends always are judgemental. The would tell me hell no. That he is gay and my white friends would tell me he is not. That he is cofortable with his sexuality. What do you think?

Admitting confusion


Hey Admitting confusion

Personally I feel thats it is up to you to make that decision based on how you feel. There are certain type of things that make a man sexual. Being comfortable with his sexuallity is a definite. There are men that will jump at the slightest touch near their asses. These are the one's that think they are too hard or too fucking strong to take a finger up the ass. That may be true. However, it may also be that they will take it up the asses. At the right place and the right time. Then there are some that will take a long one up the ass...Hell yeah that makes them gay. I have not came into contact with many men that didnt like a log one up the ass and didn't want a man to put it there. F.Y.I a man's g-spot is in his ass so a man that comfortable with you getting a lil close to the no-no spot, doesn't nessecarily have to be gay. he may just be freaky that's all.

Bye Bye Now
R.A.W

In or out of the closet??

I am a woman dating a woman and a man. I love them both and I know this will have to die down VERY SOON. My family does not know of my likes and they feel that I should be with a man. Of course. However I want to marry a man and fuck bitches!! I know it's my life and I must decide what to do a.s.a.p. I have 2 people that I love equally and I want them both!!! I wish they would understand. I know I have to tell them but I don't know how to do it?


Hey In or Out of the closet.

I noticed that you said that you love them both but are you IN LOve with either of them? You need to figure out what you want to do. Either you want to be straight or you want to be gay. But sweetie you can't be both. There is no such thing as bi...unless ya ass is bi-polar. Something has got to give. You want them to understand...well tell them. Hell who knows what they would say this day n age. Maybe you can still marry that man n fuck ya bitches...but the man you fuck will have access to all ya bitches too. Can you handle that?

P.s Excuse the french but fuck ya family(unless their last name is Trump or Hilton:)). For real. It's your life. You have to live in it, with it and for it.

Bye bye now!!

N THE R.A.W

A LIL TIRED

Yo N The Raw,

I have this friend that is in a relationship with this guy that is bogus. It's her business, however, she always feels the need to give me advice about mine. I don't understand. Currently I am single and date every so often. However no matter what I tell her or try to talk to her about she always seems to know the perfect answer. I know that sounds hypocritical because I ask for her advice, but it doesn't seems as though she listens well. She is fond of one person that I date and no matter what he does to hurt me she always seems to agree with him. I started to think that it was because of her relationship and how misery loves company. She pretends to be in it just for the moment, but I know she is still in it because HE has not left yet.

A Lil tired


Hey A Lil Tired,

The most obvious thing about your situation is that you need to shut your mouth. You need not tell your friend anything else about your relationship(s). I don't since that your friend is jealous of you but it may be something that you have that she wants. You may need to watch out for her ass. Either she wants you in that relationship because she wants you to be a miserable as she is or she wants you in the relationship because she wants to be with the guy herself. Maybe because you really don't want to be with him she thinks that you would not care if they are together. Who knows As they late great Tupac says " keep ya enemies close nigga watch ya homies".

Bye Bye now

Coffee: with or without Suga-Daddy

Hi N The Raw!

I’m a young woman, 36 years old and I’m facing a dilemma. Due to means beyond my control, I stepped out of my relationship, and briefly dated an older gentleman. I thought that he was only about 10 years older than me because he does not look old. Well low and behold after searching on the Internet, I found out that he is 27 years older than I am!!!!!!!!!!!! I was truly disgusted because that means when I was (born) he was 27!!!! Also, he has a bad habit of calling me “little girl” and well I guess I am! I went to a Jazz Fest with him and finally met a few of his friends and felt like I was at a Geritol Convention.

My problem: He was good to me financially! Took me on shopping trips, out of town, etc…….. and I somewhat have become accustomed to it. But my heart tells me to end it because I am just too grossed out now! Do I end it and let him go on about his business or do I continue to be greedy and sell my soul to him for the money, gifts, etc???? Please help!!

Signed,
Coffee with or without Suga-Daddy!!!

Hey Coffee...with or without Suga-Daddy,

After reading your entry I couldn't help but think about how money is always an aspect in a relationship. What about love? Now I will be the first to admit that love can't pay the bills. However I am always a sucker for TRUE love. True love is not shopping sprees and vacations. True love is that tingle in every touch, laughter for no reason, long conversation, trust and admiration. You can't trust Baby Jesus. He started the relationship off with a lie. A little white lie but A very important lie. He cheated you out of the chance to make your own decisions on what you wanted in the relationship. He knew it would be a problem that's why he lied in the first place. He doesn't seem like a bad guy but let's face the real truth...You are grossed out by this guy. And if you don't mind my saying, with being 36 you not only are still at the peak of your life, but how much time do you want to continue wasting searching the internet for the truth about dogs??? Or being his "Little Girl"? Not to mention going on and doubting his every word. On the bright side you can wait it out like Anna Nicole but I want you to ask yourself a serious question...Is money worth your soul?

Bye Bye now